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Weirdsister Spells

Here are two lists of spells and magical information found in the Weirdsister episodes.  On one side is the "Official Spellbook Version," with the posh spellings, and on the other side is the "Pronounciation Guide," which tells you how to say them.

Official Spell Book Version
 
Programme 1 Spells (The All-Seeing Eye)
 
The Spell to Summon the All-Seeing Eye and Place it in the Gauge of Humility: Omness, Claritas, Omness, Veedae, Oculess, Varitas, Inclaritatae.
 
Programme 2 Spells (Never on Friday)
 
The Bus Spell: A building or establishment which has had the Bus Spell performed upon it is free of the Foster's Effect for a certain amount of time.  However, the magical backwash is not entirely disposed of.  It has to be released every so often, usually once a week, though.
 
A Spell to Walk through Walls: Portalis Appatus Transportus Transformus. 
 
A Spell to Clean up a Room: Rezarus Extractus Liquidaeta Contractus, Hoomverix Conviculum, Concatanartum.
 
 
Programme 3 Spells (The Gargoyle)
 
The Scrolls of Cantrip (Bringing Statuary and Stone to Life): Mortilus, Statuetous, Exhumous, Animatus.
 
A Spell to Return People from a Stone State: Martarlus, Statuartus, Renasance, Revilatess.
 
A Spell to Bring Clothes to Life: Vestis Vestimentis Inveeti Nementis.
 
Gargoyles: A gargoyle is a stone carving of a gremlin-type monster that is placed high up on the inside or outside of building's walls.  If it is brought to life by use of The Scrolls of Cantrip, it does the complete opposite of whatever you say.  It also has the ability to turn people into stone.
 
Programme 4 Spells (The End of Miserys)
 
The Court of Impedimenta: A group of college officials who set the rent for college-owned properties.
 
A Peppercorn Rent: 16 Groats (1) to be paid to The Court of Impedimenta per year providing that annual repairs are carried out on the property in question before the Summer Solstice.
 
Programme 5 Spells (All That Jazz)
 
Abstract Spellcasting: A relatively new form of magic involving the production of an object out of thin air, and using no incantations or chanting.
 
Top-Up Spell: A spell to enhance and boost your magical reserves.  But when you cast it, make sure that the person or persons are connected in some way to a conductor that allows excess magic to flow away.
 
Programme 6 Spells (Dreamcatcher)
 
Witch Practice: A way of serving the community through magic.  You have to give up a certain amount of your time each month to go to Cosmic Circle Consultations with Doctor Jenny Wendle where you do spells for clients who need help.
 
Beginning of a Burglary Protection Spell: Incalcatus, Ruminatus, Instantatus, Calcum.  Immunati...
 
Locator Spell: You stand in front of a mirror with a specially prepared potion.  You make a little steam from the potion rise before the mirror.  In the mirror will appear a number of possible places that your subject may be.  To change the view, point your finger or do your special magic hand movement at the mirror. 
 
A Spell to Give a Waking Dream, Sleeping Dream or a Vision of your Choice to Anyone you wish: The preparation involves suspending a Dreamcatcher over a cauldron.  To give someone a vision of yourself everywhere they go say this spell with your name in the gap.  If they are asleep they will dream of you, if they are awake they will see you everywhere: Incantarus, Spiritus Veetae Mors Morteesia, ......... Visarae.
 
Programme 7 Spells (Dr. Foster, I Presume!)
 
A World-Wide Locator Spell:  Put a clear quartz crystal on something belonging to the person whom you wish to find.  Lift it off the object and say this spell: Quey quam quo quam res irat, quee cum quey, illuminat!  Hold the crystal over a map of the world and move it slowly over all the countries.  The country which your person is in will glow red and so will the crystal.
 
Dr Starfinder's Summoning Spell: Arrange some cauldrons in a circle on little tables.  Stand in the centre of the circle and say a spell.  Everybody who is standing by a cauldron throws in some Antimony at the same time, and a magical energy line comes out of each cauldron and focuses on the spot in the middle of the circle.  Your person appears.
 
Forget-me-Not potion: A person who drinks this potion cannot stop thinking about the person who made it.  If you have been given this potion you have dilated eye pupils and when you open your mouth a purple heart comes floating out.
 
Magic-Hypno Potion: A potion to put somebody into a hypnotic trance.  You can then probe their mind and find out anything you wish.
 
Programme 8 Spells (The Seventh Sense)
 
The Spell to Activate Starfinders Mind Machine: Alverix Aucus,
Mentap-transportus, Mentabitatus, Inalticorpus.
 
Holding Spell: The person or animal who is under this spell can move the upper part of his/her body but the animal or person's feet are stuck to a surface and cannot move.
 
Cas's Healing Chant: Spirit of Wind, Spirit of water.  Spirits of fire and stone.
 
Shrinking Spell: Ic corpus reductatus instantatus.
 
A Spell to Open a Magically Sealed Gate: Salas portus imperato, eximpedimus, day obstructo.
 
Programme 9 Spells (The Golden Cauldron)
 
The Golden Cauldron: The Golden Cauldron is the supreme cauldron of the magical world.  It is awarded as trophy to the winner of the yearly event "The Agonies," but the team only get to keep the cauldron for a certain amount of time.  Witches have to summon it in a ceremony exclusively for female magic practicioners and it's magic dissapates if anyone other than the outright winner touches it.  No spells affect it, and it is the one cauldron that can brew the most powerful of potions.  The inscription on the side reads: "From conquest only shall ye gain power."
 
A Spell to Contain an Object's Magic: Ex fostis obscurus fistis obscurum.
 
A Spell to Detect If Another Spell has Been Cast: Join hands in a circle around the afflicted person.  Chant: 'insalibus presdidigirum revas,' a number of times, and everybody puts their hands on the afflicted person.  A trained witch can then work out what spell has been cast.
Double Doubting Spell (Divitum Debitorum): A spell that makes the afflicted person doubt themself.  It can only be removed by the will of the afflicted.  
 
A Spell to Clean Up a Room:Magnolia, Infucatus, Emulsio, Reditatus.
 
Programme 10 Spells (Good Friends)
 
The Magic Wheel:  Symbol of our journey through life, emblem of the ancients, and benevolent circle of witches, wise women and crones.  At the end of your Foundation Year at Weirdsister, a witch, like all other witches in colleges everywhere, must join the Circle.  It is a very solemn moment, as you begin to leave childhood behind, and face the future.  You will be offering to the wheel something very close to your heart - you must qualify for Circle Membership before the Summer Solstice or you will have to do your Foundation Course all over again.  You place your gift on the wheel - if it accepted, it will vanish and you can claim Circle Membership.
 
General Magical Chants and Invocations: Hocus Pocus Jiggery Bogus; Alakazam, Alakazoo.  (Although the former is not actually a chant, it is just used to impress non-magical people.  The magic is actually worked by the magical energy in your fingers.  The latter is just a general spell, made different every time by the use of hand actions).
 
Programme 11 - Shaky Foundations
 
Alchemy: The process of turning ordinary chemicals into gold.  Ordinary people who lived during the Middle Ages and did not know about witchcraft tried to accomplish this, but failed due to the lack of an object only known to magic-workers.  The wizards, however, did manage to find the formula, because they had access to this one magical object. 
Base metal + zinc + copper + lead.  Heat them until they are molten, then add the Magician's Stone.  Liquid Gold should appear.
 
The Capernicus Prize: awarded once a year to the student who produces the most original piece of research.
 
Windows of Time: a certain point in time where it is possible to travel backwards and forwards through the ages.  These rarely occur.
 
The Enigma of the 4th Dimension: a formula needed to be able to travel back in time.
 
A Spell to Go Back in Time: Tempus, Reversus, Historica, Excursus, In Uno Loco, Transformus, Universus.
 
A Spell to Return to Your Own Time: Nobus, Turnus, Futurus, Eternus, In Uno Loco, Presentus, Returnus.
 
The Elixir of Life: a potion made from extracts of Sorcerer's Eggs which can prolong life (or even give immortality).
 
A Tinkture Potion: a potion which restores natural objects from sickness to health.  It was discovered during the Middle Ages.
 
Programme 12 - The Whisperer
 
Sorcerer's Eggs: Pure negative magical energy contained within an egg-shaped object.  An "accumulator" collects the energy and makes it into eggs.
 
Magic Time-Loop Lock: a magical lock for safes.
 
Mis-Gone Magic: the Medieval term for The Foster's Effect.
 
Programme 13 - The Gates of Power
 
The Seared Whisper: a world within the walls of Weirdsister created out of negative magic.
 
The Gate of Power: the doorway between The Seared Whisper and our world.  A scroll kept in The Beetle's office contains the spell to open it - her post was created for the purpose of protecting it and preventing the gate being opened.
 
The Emergency Exit:  Stand in a circle and all chant - Mos, Transportus, Epugarnus, Atapax.  It leads to Misery's Cafe.
 
Spell to Turn Somebody Into A Pig: Alverix, Aucus, Transfrogamorphus, Spotticus, Trotticus, Transferus, Corpus.
 
Emergency Call Button: Used to summon the Beetle from outside the walls of Weirdsister.  Press the red button under a desk to sweep her into a travelling magical wormhole, and press the green button to let her out again.
 
The Spell to Open The Gates of Power: This is considered to dangerous to be reprinted here.  (And the Beetle wouldn't lend us the scroll).
 
A Spell to Turn the All-Seeing Eye Red: Vaday Gate, Vaday Retroburus, Vaday Instantatus. 

 
Pronounciation Guide
 
Programme 1 Spells (The All-Seeing Eye)
 
The Spell to Summon the All-Seeing Eye and Place it in the Gauge of Humility: Om-ness, Clar-it-ass, Omness, Vee-day, Ock-you-less, Va-rit-ass, In-clarit-ar-tay.
 
Programme 2 Spells (Never on Friday)
 
What is the Bus Spell?  If you do magic inside the walls of Weirdsister, no Fosters Effect will take bite back at you straight away.  The Bus Spell stores up the negative magic from your spell and it is released on Friday.  No magic is allowed then and no lectures take place or the Bus Spell does something freaky and goes wrong.
 
A Spell to Walk through Walls: Port-alis App-at-us Tran-sport-us Trans-form-us.
 
A Spell to Clean up a Room: Rez-ar-us Extract-us Liquid-ay-ta Contract-us, Hoom-ver-ix Con-vic-you-lum, Con-cata-nar-tum.
 
Programme 3 Spells (The Gargoyle)
 
The Scrolls of Cantrip (brings stone stuff to life): Mor-til-us, Stat-you-et-us, Ex-hume-us, Anim-ar-tus.
 
A Spell to Bring People Back from Being Stone: Mar-tar-lus, Sta-you-ar-tus, Ren-ar-sense, Rev-il-ar-tess.
 
A Spell to Bring Clothes to Life: Ves-tis Vest-im-entis In-vee-tie Nem-en-tis.
 
What is a Gargoyle?  A Gargoyle is a piece of stonework.  If it is brought to life it does the opposite of what ever you say and has the ability to turn people into stone.
 
 
 
Programme 4 Spells (The End of Misery's)
 
What is a Peppercorn Rent?  16 Groats (1) a year forever, as long as repairs are carried out once a year before the longest day of the year.
 
What is the Court of Impedimenta? They set the rent for properties owned by the college.
 
 
 
Programme 5 Spells (All That Jazz)
 
What is Abstract Spellcasting? You make an object appear in front of you without chanting.
 
What is a Top-Up Spell? A spell that gives you a bit more magical energy so you can cast more spells better.  But you have to hold on to a Bus Conductor or you end up with too much magical energy in you like Milly.
 
 
 
Programme 6 Spells (Dreamcatcher)

What is Witch Practice? You go down to a place called Cosmic Circle Consultations and help people by doing spells for them.  You have to do a set amount of time there as part of your course.
 
Part of a Burglary Protection Chant that the Group begin for a CCC Client:
In-cal-car-tus, Room-in-ar-tus, Instant-ar-tus, Calc-um.  Imm-you-nar-tie... 
What is a Locator Spell? A spell involving a potion and a mirror which helps you find someone.  You make a bit of steam from the potion puff up in front of the mirror and in the mirror you see places where the person could be.  You change the view by pointing at the mirror.
 
A Spell to Give Someone Else a Dream or Daydream about you: Hang a Dreamcatcher over a cauldron.  Say this spell with your name in the gap.  If they are asleep they will dream of you, if they are awake they will see you everywhere: In-can-tar-us, Spirit-us Vee-tay Mors Mor-tease-ee-ar, ......... Vis-ar-ay.
 
 
 
 
 
Programme 7 Spells (Dr. Foster, I Presume!)
 
A World-Wide Locator Spell to Find Someone who is far away: Put a magical clear crystal on something belonging to the person who you are trying to find.  Lift it off and say this spell: Quey quam quo quam res irat, quee cum quey, illuminat!  Put the crystal over a map of the world and swing it over it in all directions.  The country which the person is in will shine red - that is where they are.
 
Dr Starfinder's Summoning Spell: Set up cauldrons in a circle.  Stand in the middle of the circle and shout a spell which I can't make out (that's why it's not here).  Everyone who is by a cauldron throws in some kind of ingredient - which is used (I think) in connection with horses, but was also used to poison someone is a book I read - at the same time, and a magical line escapes out of each cauldron and goes on a spot in the middle of the circle.  Your person appears.
 
What is a Forget-me-Not potion? A person who drinks this potion can't stop thinking about the person who made it.  If you have been given this potion the black blobs in your eyes are large and weird-looking and when you open your mouth and say 'ahhh' like at the Dentist's a purple heart comes floating out.
What is a Magic-Hypno Potion? This potion puts you in a weird state of mind where you are at the mercy of the person/people who gave you the potion.  They can then find out anything they like from the info. that's stored in your mind.
 
Programme 8 Spells (The Seventh Sense)
 
The Spell to Activate Starfinders Mind Machine: Al-ver-ix Awk-us, Mentap-transportus, Men-tabby-tar-tus, In-al-tee-corp-us.
 
What is a Holding Spell? If you do this spell on something, they can move their head, shoulders and arms but hteir feet are stuck to the floor like glue and they can't move anywhere else.
 
Cas's Uncle's Healing Chant that she uses to try and help Tabby: Spirit of Wind, Spirit of water.  Spirits of fire and stone....
 
Shrinking Spell: Ick corp-us reduc-tar-tus in-stan-tar-tus.
 
A Spell to Open a Magically Sealed Gate: Salas por-tus im-per-ar-toe, ex-imped-imus, day obstruct-o.
 
Programme 9 Spells (The Golden Cauldron)
 
What is The Golden Cauldron: The Golden Cauldron is the most powerful caudron ever.  It is given to the winner of 'The Agonies' but they only get to keep it for one night.  It appears during a ceremony where no wizards are allowed (only witches) and if anyone other than the winner touches it it loses its powers.  If you cast a spell on it nothing will happen and it can have the most powerful potions in it without breaking.  The inscription on the side reads: "From conquest only shall ye gain power."  This means that you have to win "The Agonies" to get it.
 
The Spell that Hobbes does on The Golden Cauldron to try and make it's magic stay (but it fails): Ex fos-tis ob-scur-us fist-is ob-scur-um.
 
This spell tells if someone has a bad spell put on them: Join hands in a circle around the person who has the spell put on them.  Say: 'in-sali-bus pres-did-i-jeer-um revas,' a few times, and everybody puts their hands on the person who has the spell put on them.  If you know what you are doing you can then work out what spell has been cast.
 
Double Doubting Spell (Divitum Debitorum): A spell that makes the person think that they are rubbish at everything.  The only person who can remove it is the person who it has been put on.  
 
A Spell to Clean Up a Room:Magnolia, In-fu-car-tus, Emulsio, Red-i-tar-tus.
 
Programme 10 Spells (Good Friends)
 
What is The Magic Wheel:  A little symbol that witches use to look important.  At the end of your Foundation Year at Weirdsister (if you survive it), witches have to join a little club.  You have to bring along to a ceremony something you would never give up, but you have to now or the cows will make you do your first year at Weirdsister all over again.  You have until July 21st to find something.  You put it on the wheel, and if it is good enough (meaning it is the one thing that causes you most pain and torment to lose) it will disappear and leave you to get on in life without it.
 
Stuff to Say When you Can't Think of a Better Spell: Hocus Pocus Jiggery Bogus; Alakazam, Alakazoo.  (The first one isn't actually a real spell, just use it for pretend magic like Tim - your hand flicking actually does the spell.  The last one is a general spell that can be used for all sorts of stuff.  The flicking you do with your hands make the product of the spell different).
 
Programme 11 - Shaky Foundations
 
Alchemy: Turning ordinary bits of rubbsih into gold.  Normal people in the Middle Ages tried to do this but couldn't 'cos they didn't have The Magician's Stone (it just looks like a piece of Quartz to me!!)
Base metal + zinc + copper + lead.  Heat them until they are molten, then add the Magician's Stone.  Liquid Gold should appear.
 
The Capernicus Prize: once a year a load of students enter their research for a prize and one wins.
 
Windows of Time: Once every 200 years or so, you can travel back in time.  A Window of time is a time when it is possible to do this.
 
The Enigma of the 4th Dimension: a load of numbers you need to be able to travel through time successfully.
 
A Spell to Go Back in Time: Tem-pus, Rev-er-sus, His-tor-ica, Ex-cur-sus, In Oo-no Loco, Trans-form-us, Uni-versus.
 
A Spell to Return to Your Own Time: No-bus, Turn-us, Fu-tur-us, Etern-us, In Oo-no Loco, Present-us, Return-us.
 
The Elixir of Life: a potion that can make you immortal (or live 700 years longer than you should).  You use Sorcerer's Eggs to make it.
 
A Tinkture Potion: makes dead plants go healthy again.
 
Programme 12 - The Whisperer
 
Sorcerer's Eggs: a machine collects the Foster's Effect magic from the air and puts it inside an egg.
 
Magic Time-Loop Lock: a magical lock for safes.
 
Mis-Gone Magic: what they used to call The Foster's Effect 500 years ago.
 
Programme 13 - The Gates of Power
 
The Seared Whisper: a really bad place where everything is dead powerful and made out of The Foster's Effect.  It is inside the walls of Weirdsister (I think they are being metaphorical when they say that).
 
The Gate of Power: The Beetle guards a scroll, the scroll has the spell to open The Gate of Power which is the door between The Seared Whisper and here.
 
The Emergency Exit:  Stand in a circle and all chant - Mos, Tran-sport-us, Ep-oo-gar-nus, At-a-pax.  It leads to Misery's Cafe.
Spell to Turn Somebody Into A Pig: Al-ver-ix, Awk-us, Trans-frog-a-morph-us, Spot-ticus, Trot-ticus, Trans-ferus, Cor-pus.
 
Emergency Call Button: If the Beetle is away you can bring her back again.  Press the red button under her desk, then the green one.  If you don't press the green one she will be sucked into a magical tornado-type-thing.  (Sounds an interesting idea...)
 
The Spell to Open The Gates of Power: Too damn dangerous for us to print (and the Beetle snatched away the scroll before we could get a look at it).
 
A Spell to Turn the All-Seeing Eye Red: Vaday Gate, Vaday Retro-bur-us, Vaday In-stan-tar-tus.